Own The Dictionary

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We (Fred & Steve) recently bought the dictionary at a yard sale. As the new owners of the English language, we thought we should share it with others and have decided to sell each word.

Not only can you buy your favorite words on the Blockchain and own them forever, but 100% of the proceeds from the first sale of every word will go to support Ukraine.​

Every word will be accompanied by an impressive Name Tag that you can use to show off at your high school reunion or on your favorite social network.

The NFT collection is available on OpeanSea, with 10,000 of the most often-used words in the Dictionary. Grab your favorite word before someone else does!

Find out more at OwnTheDictionary.com

Screw You, World!

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Al Gore has been losing sleep for decades over what he claims is the theft of his legacy. No, this is bigger than inventing the Internet. It’s creating the first “Hello, World!” program.

Gore claims that Brian Kernighan and Dennis M. Ritchie were not the creators of this seminal piece of code.

“I wrote that code,” said Gore. “It was me, and it was way before the Internet. It was my true legacy, and it’s been taken from me, just like the Internet! How are people going to remember me? As Mr. Inconvenient Truth?”

But the controversy doesn’t end there. Yesterday, Elon Musk tweeted, “Screw you, World!” I was before any of them. I wrote that code on a punch-card VAX mainframe, and I don’t need to prove it. Everyone knows I’m the only one smart enough. And I called it Screw you, World!”

No matter who wrote it, you can now own the “Screw You, World!” NFT, and you can decide who gets credit.

World’s Simplest Personality Test

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This is the world’s simplest, and therefore most accurate, personality test ever devised, according to 98% of psychologists in Lithuania.

Tell us what you see:

(A) Pair of Eyeballs
(B) Four Circles

If you chose (A) Pair of Eyeballs, then you are a creative, free-thinking, open-minded personality type, with an avid imagination, natural sense of leadership, and the ability to deal with a diverse range of situations, think out of the box, and problem solve at a high level.

If you chose (B) Four Circles, you are a boring blockhead, with no imagination and little potential to accomplish anything in life, let alone see what’s right in front of your eyes.

There you have it. Now you know the true you. Unless, of course, you see something else in this picture.

All Bad Cats

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🐱 Bad, bad Kitty!!

These seemingly innocent felines have secretly been up to no good, and so Roadkill Pancake is releasing 10,000 of them onto blockchain in order to stir up trouble…

Be prepared for all-night catnip binges, midnight mooning, hot-tub parties, ostentatious displays of furballs, secret plans for world domination, and more!

These alley cats have gone feral, and it’s your job to track them down and round them up. Not only can you collect your kitty companions, but Roadkill Pancake will randomly be giving out free NFTs that your kitty can play with, like exploding cat litter, mutant kitty steroids, advanced tactical weapons, flaming fur, sharks with friggin’ laser beams, and tabby tongue scratchers.

Zero Calorie Cake

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At Roadkill Pancake, we’ve cooked up a new recipe for you. It’s an NFT cake with zero calories! That’s right, you can have as many slices as you like, without putting on the pounds. And, if you are into Zoom or intermittent fasting, you can continue your routine without a single worry.

We’re serving up a thousand slices of this delicious desert, so go whole hog and help yourself to as many slices as you can afford.

Who ever said, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too?”

And what the hell does that mean?

RP 5000 39-Piece NFT Fixit Kit

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Are your NFTs behaving badly? Using profanity? Acting strangely? Trespassing on the wrong blockchain? Getting in fights with other NFTs?

Look no further! Now you can get the RP 5000 39-Piece NFT Fixit Kit!

• Fix backgrounds broken in NFT fights
• Install digital fences to stop trespassing
• Connect virtual wires to eliminate flickers and profanity
• Extract Ethereum that they may have conveniently put in their pockets
• Prepare your NFTs for resale to a better home
• And much, much more!!!

Available only at Roadkill Pancake! (while supplies last)

The Face of God

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This physical representation is the only image in existence of the actual Face of God. It was given to Roadkill Pancake through a cosmic intervention, and the representation has several mind-bending features:

  • The image captures all of the infinite knowledge, wisdom, and energy of God.
  • You can continually zoom in at any magnification. However, no matter how far you zoom in, you will never see the details because, well, God is infinite.
  • You can stretch this image to any resolution, and its quality will never degrade. The Face of God is just that amazing.
  • If you stare at the Face of God for too long, you will go insane because of its inconceivable complexity. Lurch looked at it for a week, and look how he turned out.
  • We have marked this offering as “Explicit and Sensitive Content” because we worry that a child’s head might literally explode while looking at the Face of God.

Roadkill Pancake Virtual Lawn Care Kit

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Have you recently purchased a prime plot of virtual land on the blockchain and now don’t understand why no one is visiting it? A recent survey of 354 virtual world visitors revealed that the most common reason for people not visiting a digital homestead is lack of attention to the lawn and other foliage. How embarrassing!

But have no fear, Roadkill Pancake Virtual Lawn Kit is here!

Turn your overgrown plot into a crypto oasis. Whether your plot is low or high resolution, we have you covered. Our kit is guaranteed to make even the most bored of apes excited.

So get off your ass, and buy the Roadkill Pancake Virtual Lawn Care Kit today. Your neighbors will thank you.

Tagalong Toddler ID

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Does this sound familiar?

You are out on the town and hoping to stop in the local watering hole. Then you hear a little scream and realize your infant is in the back seat.

Sure, you could leave them in the car for a few hours like you usually do, but wouldn’t it be better if they could take part in the fun. Heck, they fart and burp a lot. Perfect!

Well now your “mini me” can join the party with Tagalong Toddler ID! With a wave of your wand, your little one is now 21 years old. Just take the NFT, make a few changes, and voila – instant happiness.

The ID matches the design of the official Hawaii drivers license and is guaranteed to fool even the most diligent of bouncers. Toss your worries away, and give the gift of fun to your wee one.

While supplies last!

The World’s First “Find the Difference” Game

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Found in a complex of caves in southwestern France, this painting represents perhaps the first written game in the history of humankind.

In the cave painting, two bulls stand facing each other, clearly meant to mirror one another. The difference between the two bulls is indicated by a crude, yet clear, circle.

Estimated to be up to 20,000 years old, the painting is considered a giant leap forward in the accumulation of knowledge. While the game has evolved since its advent to include higher quality images, multiple items, and smartphone-driven timers, one cannot help but respect the ingenuity of the world’s first game master.

The caves of Lascaux are located in the Vézère Valley. In some cave paintings, it also appears there may be a primitive form of Sudoku. However, the puzzles look largely unsolved, leading experts to wonder about their actual purpose. Is it possible there’s a version of prehistoric Scrabble out there?

In its search of the History of Games, Roadkill Pancake has identified other treasures buried by time. And we will continue to unearth and bring these priceless finds to you, the little people. So, please chip in to buy a limited edition of this NFT so that we can carry on our noble quest.

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