Get the NFT!

This is a photo of the pubic hair that Clarence Thomas so judiciously spotted on his can of Coke.

As it turns out, Anita Hill saved this specimen as proof of the infamous deed, but sadly, she never submitted it to Congress.

This rare piece of evidence have been buried in the annals of history, if it had not been for one enterprising maid, who stole the follicle and had it DNA tested.

Through the miracle of genetic databases, we now know the true culprit. The hair’s DNA has been matched with that of Sandra Klock, a receptionist and part-time Yoga instructor, who worked in the same office as Thomas and Hill.

“I’ll admit it,” said Klock. “I had a big crush on Clarence at the time. I put my pubic hair on his coke thinking it might get his attention. But tragically, it didn’t work.”

Seeing the immense opportunity for profit, Klock and the mysterious maid have partnered to release this historic image to the public.

“I feel it’s my duty as a patriotic citizen,” said Klock in an interview with Roadkill Pancake. “And yeah, the money also played a part.”

Hearing of this, Justice Thomas reacted with fury, saying, “You have no right to sell this NFT without first consulting me. Without me, no one would know or care about your pubis or its byproducts. It’s because of me your bush is famous!”

Justice Thomas has demanded, in lengthy legal terms, that Klock split any profits from the sale or licensing of her pubic foliage 50/50 with him.

“If this woman fails to grant me my just compensation,” declared Thomas, “I will sue her ass all the way to the Supreme Court, if necessary. And no, I will not recuse myself from this case.”